I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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