What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
