Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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