Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize