last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
