when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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