Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
