Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize