is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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