She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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