The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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