So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
