You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize