I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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