I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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