talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
