"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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