these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
