Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
