I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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