I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
