Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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