She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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