Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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