remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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