Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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