the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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