4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
