Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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