I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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