You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
