i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize