There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you had me at cake vodka
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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