Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
