I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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