why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The air taste purple.
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