just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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