is your mom at the bar?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
