There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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