he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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