either way he was missing a nipple.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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