don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
