as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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