Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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