you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
