Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
