is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
