I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Never underestimate the power of titties
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
