we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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