It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
