hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Actions speak louder than pants.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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