Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
