It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
