she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
