We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
