Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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